Have you ever had a reaction to your child that felt bigger than the moment called for?
Maybe their defiance felt like rejection. Maybe their mistake stirred up frustration you couldn't quite explain. Maybe, afterward, you found yourself wondering why you couldn't respond with the patience you so desperately want to give them.
Sometimes, our children's behavior touches places in us that have been tender for a long time.
If you grew up feeling criticized, dismissed, responsible for everyone else's emotions, or afraid of making mistakes, certain parenting moments may bring those old feelings close to the surface.
And when that happens, shame can be quick to follow.
But what if, instead of asking, “What's wrong with me?” you began asking, “What is this bringing up in me, and how can I respond differently?”
Understanding your triggers doesn't excuse hurtful behavior. It helps you recognize what needs attention so you can take responsibility, repair disconnection, and practice new ways of responding.
You don't have to be ashamed of the wounds you carry to become responsible for how you care for them.
And you don't have to figure it all out at once.
Sometimes, change begins with a little more curiosity, a little less condemnation, and the willingness to try again.
Your past may be part of your story. It doesn't have to determine the story you write with your child.